Jimmy f***ing sucks!' Nicole Kidman helps Matt Damon 'kidnap' Kimmel... before treating bound and gagged host to a lapdance
After being 'bumped' from the line up
1,205 times over the last decade, Matt Damon got to wreak revenge on
Jimmy Kimmel Live on Thursday night.
'Welcome to tonight's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Sucks,' Damon announced, with a tied up Kimmel behind him.
'Just for starters, let me ask you guys this: As an audience, is it weird to see a person with actual talent host this show?' said Damon, who has been the butt of a long-standing joke made by Kimmel while he was trying to drum up buzz for his talk show.
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'I've been waiting for this moment for a long, long time,' the actor continued.
'This is like the time I lost my virginity, except this is going to last way longer than one second.' A
Then usual band leader Cleto Escobedo III was swapped for Sheryl Crow. Heck, Damon even got Robin Williams to deftly handle the rest of the monologue for him.
Then his BFF Ben Affleck broke ranks by holding up cue cards that pronounced Kimmel as funny, smart, good to his family and 'an excellent lover.'
'He doesn't even love you like I love you! You'll see!' Damon shouted as Affleck stormed offstage.
Then a gaggle of messages from Jennifer Lopez, Sally Field, John Krasinski, Robert De Niro, Don Cheadle and Oprah Winfrey were played in support of Damon.
'You have a gift, my friend,' Winfrey said. 'Not everybody can host a show. I know that is true. Great job.'
'Jimmy always wanted to be an actor,' Damon explained, 'and, unfortunately for him, I beat him out for every role he ever truly wanted. Jimmy has auditioned for every movie I've ever been in, every single one of them. How many did he get? None. So, he hates me.'
Then Reese Witherspoon wandered in off the street after a alcohol-buying spree at liquor store BevMo and Demi Moore left her bike with Andy Garcia and popped in.
But Damon saved the best for last, however: an interview with Kimmel's ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman.
'Is there anything you'd like to say to Jimmy?' Damon asked, gesturing to the still-tied-up-and-gagged late-night host. 'He's a captive audience.'
Silverman looked at her ex for a second and said, 'No, I'm good.'
'Welcome to tonight's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Sucks,' Damon announced, with a tied up Kimmel behind him.
'Just for starters, let me ask you guys this: As an audience, is it weird to see a person with actual talent host this show?' said Damon, who has been the butt of a long-standing joke made by Kimmel while he was trying to drum up buzz for his talk show.
Scroll down for video...
'He f****** sucks!' Nicole Kidman stopped by Jimmy Kimmel to be interviewed by her friend, Matt Damon who 'hijacked' the show
Rauncy! Nicole climbed onto Jimmy as he was tied to his chair
'This is like the time I lost my virginity, except this is going to last way longer than one second.' A
Then usual band leader Cleto Escobedo III was swapped for Sheryl Crow. Heck, Damon even got Robin Williams to deftly handle the rest of the monologue for him.
Then his BFF Ben Affleck broke ranks by holding up cue cards that pronounced Kimmel as funny, smart, good to his family and 'an excellent lover.'
VIDEO Nicole Kidman gives Jimmy Kimmel a lapdance
Revenge: Matt kidnapped Kimmel after years of being the brunt of his jokes
Just popped in: Demi left her bike with Andy Garcia and chatted to Damon over Reese's alcohol
Picking up some goodies: Reese arrived fresh from a shop at liquor chain BevMo
Then a gaggle of messages from Jennifer Lopez, Sally Field, John Krasinski, Robert De Niro, Don Cheadle and Oprah Winfrey were played in support of Damon.
'You have a gift, my friend,' Winfrey said. 'Not everybody can host a show. I know that is true. Great job.'
'Jimmy always wanted to be an actor,' Damon explained, 'and, unfortunately for him, I beat him out for every role he ever truly wanted. Jimmy has auditioned for every movie I've ever been in, every single one of them. How many did he get? None. So, he hates me.'
Friends in high places: Robin Williams read the autocue for Damon as Kimmel watched helplessly
Turncoat: Affleck went behind his BFF's back to help Kimmel out
Big hitters: Gary Oldman and Amy Adams added to Damon's roster of stars
Then
the guests began, first up was Nicole Kidman (who said she would never
do Kimmel's show because he 'f****** sucks'), Gary Oldman and Amy Adams.Then Reese Witherspoon wandered in off the street after a alcohol-buying spree at liquor store BevMo and Demi Moore left her bike with Andy Garcia and popped in.
But Damon saved the best for last, however: an interview with Kimmel's ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman.
'Is there anything you'd like to say to Jimmy?' Damon asked, gesturing to the still-tied-up-and-gagged late-night host. 'He's a captive audience.'
Silverman looked at her ex for a second and said, 'No, I'm good.'
Priceless: Sarah Silverman, Kimmel's ex-girlfriend, was Damon's piece de resistance
Look who it is! Demi leaves her bike outside to pop in
What a line up! Nicole Kidman, Gary Oldman, Amy Adams, Reese Witherspoon, Demi Moore all line up for Damon
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